on. off.

there was once this girl i knew. she lived like a two seconds away from me and she was prolly one of the only people that i knew that could turn off her feelings or turn them on if she wanted. when she told me, i didnt believe her. how could anybody be able to turn off how they felt? but she insisted, "really, i do. i have a switch on my back, watch." and she lifted her shirt slightly to reveal her open spaced bare spine. and there it was, a switch. such a simple looking device, it had:a rectangular metal shiny grey base and a white switch that at the top said in bold black letters "ON" and on the bottom it said "OFF". i was truly amazed. the switch was on at the moment and i could tell as well because when i looked back to her face she had on this look of crucial awaitingness, like she was worried if was going to run away in horror. but i did not and i told her "how cool!" and her face relaxed. it was on. we talked a little more about how when she wanted to stop liking a boy she turned it off and she didnt like him anymore and if a movie got to sad or she read a depressing story she turned it off so she wouldnt cry. she never had to cry. she also told me that she liked to leave it on during her sleep so her dreams could seem realistic but if she really wanted to have crazy imaginational dreams, she would turn it off and she did crazy stuff like jumping off a cliff with a flying hat and not feeling scared. once we were done, she went back to her house and i walked into mine.

i have never, in my life, been so jealous of anybody like that in my life. i wanted that, i wanted to not cry and i wanted to not feel jealous. i would still trade everything i have for that switch.