DAY 12:

ITS THREE IN THE MORN'.

what am i doing up? with cake in my hand and nothing on my brain.

i like reading peoples blogs. i like knowing im not the only one that thinks funky like that.

so, im thousands of miles away from home. i was so glad to go, i was like 'i need to get away!'

and gosh, i think the only reason i wanted to get away was to realize on how much i need to get back. ive realized so many things. ive been so apathetic towards highschool, and with all a good point, but still. having this "im not gona see these people anymore in a few months" attitude is wearing thin. i've already been gone for about three weeks and i already miss well everybody. i'll list some of themin my daily schedule:

-1st: i miss wang and talking to her across the room, and caldy telling us about his life, and kevins insane outbursts and getting burned for being ecaudorian and burning back even harder about being a lowlife cocaine selling colombian.

-2nd: I MISS ROSE. and telling her random stories and making rididiculous noises and dances. and i miss maymay.

-3rd:MOMO AND JOJO.

-4th:not paying attention to class. and thinking about lunch. and talking to people. and sneaking gatorades for mark.

-5th: p.c. everyone but hitler. i like being the loudest, well, not really.

-6th: holmey hitting me on the head, and guessing if mayhall is coming or not, and talking to MIKEL. hes prolly one of the only reasons i can stay in that class, him and holmey.

I MISS LATE NITE ADVENTURES WITH LARA AND DION AND SUNNY AND LAYING ON THE STREET AT FOUR IN THE MORNING AND BEING IN A VAN TILL THE SUN COMES UP. AND I MISS DRESS SHOPPING WITH MOMO AND GETTING VISITED AT MY HOUSE IN MY PJ'S. AND I MISS MY COUSINS. AND I MISS MILK. I MISS MY CALIFORNIA COW MILK.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I MISS RANCH.

SWEET OL' RANCH.

well, im done sounding like a rotten 10 year old. ive lost all my aesthetic dignity. but you know what. im not here to impress.

OH AND ONLY 18 MORE DAYS.

no more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways

There'd be no distance that can hold us back.


i'm in paradise.
but i'll leave it all behind
to go home
and sleep in my bed.
this is my new year.

SNARFARGUSNUCK.

a month ago i would prolly be showering this with insanely explicit lettering,
but now since i have my new and improved word filter, ill stick to good ol' gibberish.

THIS IS A BUNCH OF SHIP WAX.
IF I COULD, I WOULD GO UP TO YOU AND FLUBBING TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING.
WHATS HOLDING ME BACK?
OH, I DUNNO, MY FLUBBING DIGNITY AND PRIDE.
GABBERSQUAT! HELICOPTORSACK! MOONMONKIES!
YOU PICKININNY! ARE YOU REALLY THAT BLIND?
ARE YOU REALLY?
DO I HAVE TO PARADE AROUND WITH A BANNER?
FLUKING CUSTARDBUTTON.
AKGTKERLGJOAJGI;OAEJDAIOGTJASLGNJALKGS;LJGEOSPJDIOJALKGAKLETIHAGH!KHDFKLALDAHLLK;AJIKLJKLASHJCACAKDJKAJCIUCURKCUFKJDFKAJK!
I SERIOUSLY THINK RUNNING AROUND BARE NAKED THROUGH BOYLE HEIGHTS WITH A SIGN THAT SAYS "MAKE HUMMUS NOT WAR" IS LESS OBVIOUS.


all the cards are on the table, and yet i still think im going to win.
you have the ace and i have a joker.
im the joker.
im the joke.


its funny, all my life i like to confront my problems,then run away so fast i dont see the consequences and i never look back.
but i wonder this time,
will i have the heart to not take a peak?
its just the turn of a head.

all life is..is just the turn of a head.

MEOW.

you are ugly.
on the inside.

MOUTH.

i should use it more.
to tell you of my feelings.
to tell you the whole truth.

but the problem is,
how do i say it.