jesus won!

today was the end of confirmation. its kinda sad a bit oh well.

umm i was really thinking and like....ive always had this dream of going far away for college.

and i still kind do. but really i dont think id have a problem staying here. i think id miss my family too much. even though they bug me. like my grandma is the most wonderfullest person ever and i think i should stay and help her take care of my little sisters. i love my little sister natalie. she is smart and funny, and she loves to sing too and dance! mostly everyday i put on random songs like "mr.jones" or "hey jelousy" and shell just run around singing with me. even though she doesnt know the words. she is prolly the only person that i can tell anything too really she mite not get it but she'll just listen and wont complain. i love her and ive been having bad days recently kinda but she brightens them up when she runs up to me and says that she misses me. i wish i could remeber how it is to be three years old. i really dont remember being 8 or 11 years, i just dont remember much.

i hate it when you come to a point in your life when you know you have to end something,

not because you want to, but because you need to.

im going to keep trying for a bit more, but i feel thats its only one sided. and not mine.

i read my other posts and really i said regret like a gagibillion times.

but its so true it hurts so bad to have had something.

man i miss just sitting in that car.